Dear You, (Hashtag Hope)

My friend Nick runs an amazing community called Hashtag Hope, and asked me to contribute a letter for their Dear You series. Hashtag Hope's mission is to find light in the midst of the dark and proclaim that there is freedom and victory in the telling of our stories.  This is a community that I am proud to be part of, and one that I have found such depth and encouragement in. Thank you, Nick, for always being so welcoming to this heart and the words that fall out.


hh

I wish we could be having this conversation over steaming coffee or hot tea, surrounded by dimmed lights and hushed voices. I wish I could reach across the table and take your hand and speak these words out loud to you. If you ask me, things like this are not said aloud nearly as often as they should be.

The older I get, the more clearly I recognize that we do not have long here on this tilted earth. Our lives are like vapor, none of us being promised tomorrow. Having that knowledge can lead you to one of two places: fear, or fervor.

→ Keep reading at Hashtag Hope.


A Hope that Does Not Disappoint (Visiting Hashtag Hope Today!)

hangingonerinblog

After struggling for years with some degree or another of depression and anxiety, I had my first panic attack last night.

My husband, faithful and unwavering, sat up with me in bed as my head grew increasingly lighter, my lungs struggled to stay full, my face tingled, and heart raced.

And all day today, I have felt the fatigue. I feel as though I’ve run a marathon with no training whatsoever.

In the hours that preceded the panic attack, I admitted that I don’t like the way my life looks right now. At twenty-three years old, I’m still struggling to figure out who I am. And a lot of times, it feels like I’m floundering, grasping vainly at straws in the middle of a crowd who has it all figured out.

Obviously, that’s not actually true. But we all tend to be absorbed by thoughts that we are the only one with this struggle or facing that trial. All the while, pretending to have it together.

Read more at Hashtag Hope.