Coffee Date | Two

Coffee dates originated over at my friend Amber’s place,
and I never cease to be grateful for her warmth and hospitality.


If we were on a coffee date, I’d be drinking something iced and sweet, because we’ve topped a hundred degrees here in South Carolina and the humidity is absolutely horrendous.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d recommend this sermonand tell you that Genesis 15:6 is absolutely wrecking me. I’d share that this whole faith thing is too simple, too good to be true, and sometimes just too damn hard. I mean, let’s be real: its easy to believe in God. It is much harder to believe him when he speaks over me. I see that verse, and I see promises that go against everything I know to be true. I see callings that lead me far and away from my comfort zone. But I also see the seed of the faithfulness of God, and that is something that I never ever want to lose sight of.

If we were on a coffee date, I would ask you if you feel seen. Maybe I would pour my heart out and tell you that this is a constant struggle in my life right now. Maybe I wouldn’t. I’m good at stuffing those kinds of things down. But I would definitely ask you — because the headlines and the trending topics are incredibly sad, and it makes me wonder if anyone is really taking the time to look into the eyes of the people they’re with and let them know they’re not alone.

If we were on a coffee date, I would ask if you’re doing a Bible study. In June, I read through Genesis with She Reads Truth and this month, I’m doing a study on Moses. I cannot recommend that app highly enough. While the study wasn’t wildly in depth, it was a great way to keep track of what I read and have a little bit of quiet time. Right now, I’m camped out and refusing to move on from the burning bush.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d share that I’m honestly sick and tired of being asked when I’m going to have a baby. I’m being asked multiple times a week, often by people who don’t even know me. PSA: This is not an acceptable form of small talk. We have not ventured into trying yet because we would like to be in our own place and be more financially stable before bringing a baby into the equation. But for many of my friends, being able to conceive has been either very difficult or impossible (at least by human standards). Several of my friends have had multiple miscarriages. I’m grateful that so far, this has not been my story, but it easily could be. So please, if you don’t know someone’s story, do not continue to ask when baby will be coming, or saying things like “just you wait.” You may be unwittingly adding to already unbearable pain.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d tell you that I just want there to be a few more hours in the day. Because household chores and the gym and dinner on the table and writing and finishing all the books and meeting with all the friends and maybe a little bit of rest and there are only 168 hours in a week and I don’t know where it all goes. Do you know where it all goes?

If we were on a coffee date, I’d share that I’m trying to become more independent from others and more dependent on the Lord. This post by Jenna struck all the chords. “I thought they’d stay after they set my world spinning, but it turns out that God’s the one who rotates my orbit and still answers when I call.” 

If we were on a coffee date, I’d ask what your best yes is right now. Oh my gosh, you guys, this is SO unbelievably hard. Because doing all the things is looked upon as a virtue. There are things going on every single night of the week and I crave community and to be known, but like Bob Goff says, “the battle for our hearts is fought on the pages of our calendars.” I want to want God more. I want to hear his voice saying “this is the way, walk in it.” 

If we were on a coffee date, I’d tell you I got a new planner, and I am so excited! I had absolutely no idea that Day Designer partnered up with Blue Sky Designers and that their planners were carried in Target for (cue the fanfare!) $12. I am absolutely a pen and paper planner kind of gal, but I just don’t know if spending a ton of money on a planner is realistic for me right now. So I’m really really excited to try it out and see if I should splurge next year.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d definitely share this song in light of everything happening in our world. I could (read: do) listen to it on repeat all day every day.

If we were on a coffee date, and I was feeling particularly brave, I might ask what your excuses are. Because we all have things that we want and need and dream of and feel called to do, but we often drag our heels. In my multiple readings about the burning bush lately, I’ve thought about this idea a lot. Moses didn’t really want the place where his feet were to be the place where God met him, and he made lots of excuses about not being enough and being unable to control the outcomes. I am the same way, and maybe you are, too. But this is holy ground, ya’ll. And we were made to move.


What would you tell me if we were on a coffee date?
I’d love nothing more than to hear all about your life.
Join us at the table, either in the link up or the comments below.

  • I love your heart, Erin. It’s so evident in these posts!

    I struggled so much with feeling seen during my college years. Almost daily I cried out to the Lord and asking him to “show me” to people, but I felt like it never came. He was really teaching me to rest in him and not in others. Inadequacy still creeps in, but it’s so much better.

    Also, baby talk. It’s actually not been brought up a ton to my husband and I since we’ve been married, which I’m SO SURPRISED ABOUT. I have had a couple sweet older ladies ask me if I’m expecting, though. They said it’s because I wear flowy tops often. HAHA! If only they knew it’s because I always end up eating too much…

    • erinsalmon

      LOL. Flowy tops to the rescue!

      I am definitely learning the same lesson about finding my worth in the Lord rather than others. He’s not even being subtle about it, haha.

      I love you, friend. So glad we can see each other here.

    • LOL. Flowy tops to the rescue!

      I am definitely learning the same lesson about finding my worth in the Lord rather than others. He’s not even being subtle about it, haha.

      I love you, friend. So glad we can see each other here.

      • It took all I had not to burst out laughing when she mentioned the flowy tops… :D So funny.

        I love you too, Erin. What a great friend I’ve found!

  • Girl, baby talk. It just gets better and better with time, right? WRONG. :) I’ve found the best way to handle it is complete honesty… Which for us means revealing BIG news and hard cards. Saying, we can’t get pregnant, usually helps people understand how inappropriate that question can be and, while the awkward silence isn’t my favorite thing, it is the honest thing.

    Feeling seen. This isn’t something I’ve ever wanted or something I’ve ever hungered. I think because I grew up in a small town where Seen was a constant state of being, a state that wasn’t always good and often came with judgement. So, yes I’m seen but no not the same way it was and for that, gratitude.

    Friend, I love coming here with you.

    • erinsalmon

      I told Craig that the secret angry feminist inside of me wants to scream at people that I’m worth more than just my uterus. I both love and am so sorry for the fact that you feel you have to be so blunt with people. I love it because you’re a bad ass, and hate it for reasons that go without saying.

      I hear what you’re saying about being seen. There really is so much freedom in anonymity. As long as you feel like your soul is nourished at the end of the day.

      I love you more. :)

    • I told Craig that the secret angry feminist inside of me wants to scream at people that I’m worth more than just my uterus. I both love and am so sorry for the fact that you feel you have to be so blunt with people. I love it because you’re a bad ass, and hate it for reasons that go without saying.

      I hear what you’re saying about being seen. There really is so much freedom in anonymity. As long as you feel like your soul is nourished at the end of the day.

      I love you more. :)

  • I need so many more hours in the day, specifically hours in which my girls are both napping! Sometimes when I get ‘free time’ I don’t even know how to use it because I have so many things on my list that I get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing – horrible habit, I know. Also, Bob Goff is the best :-) — Lisa | Naptime Chai

    • Lisa, I definitely recommend Lysa TerKeurst’s book The Best Yes. I’m on my second reading, and it is so convicting! It is a game changer to see those unhealthy patterns in my life in a new light and begin to make changes for the better. Its so freeing to know that I don’t actually have to do it all. Praying that you will know that, too.

      • Adding it to my list right now! Thanks for the recommendation!

  • In the Philippines, one of the first questions that instantly come up after a couple gets married is baby-related. It could be a culture thing, I don’t know. So far I haven’t been asked since moving to the US but back in Asia, my husband and I were asked about baby plans even before we got married :P As for Bible study, I’m still figuring out which book to study next but for now, I’m doing my daily devotion with Paul Tripp’s New Morning Mercies. Have you heard of it? :)

    • I just got New Morning Mercies as a gift and I’m loving it! Get it, Erin. :)

  • I’m listening to that song. SO beautiful! Thank you for sharing, Erin! I’m also bookmarking that sermon and may have a listen while I’m working soon. <3 I love that you're studying Moses! There's so much good stuff in his story, isn't there? I identify with Moses a lot as I read. ;) I hope you like the Day Designer. I have the mini of the actual Day Designer and love it! But the Blue Sky collaborations are really really good and definitely more economically friendly. :) And oh my, The Best Yes. I loved that book! It was such a gift when I read through it. So practical! Right now, I'm trying to say yes to people and community over productivity. Which is a little tricky to "get right" when you work at home, but I'm trying! <3 Love to you, my friend!!