Coffee Date | Six

Processed with VSCO with a5 presetPssst! Coffee dates were born and brewed over at Amber’s place.
She’s currently taking a hiatus from the blogging world, but the coffee’s always on here. 


If we were on a coffee date, I would be drinking a hot peppermint mocha. I wait patiently while the whole world loses its mind over pumpkin spice, and then become giddy when the wintery drinks come out. Chocolate and mint together is one of my very favorite things.

If we were on a coffee date, I might tell you about how I’ve struggled with community lately. Is being in community ever not a struggle? I don’t know. This past month and a half has just been so lonely, and I still think to myself on a daily basis that I never would have chosen this. But I try to forge ahead, knowing that the growing can only happen through the dying. I’m grateful for the way His love pursues.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d tell you that saying something is always better than not. I’ll be the first to admit, it can be tempting to not say anything to someone who I know is struggling. I don’t want to say the wrong thing and appear insensitive, and sometimes I simply want to give people their privacy. I believe that people are generally well meaning in this. But not saying anything at all can make someone feel so painfully alone. All it takes is a gentle I’m so sorry, and I’m here. Those six simple words can make a world of difference.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d share that I’m nervous about visiting a new church. Last month, our time with the church we have been part of for six years (our entire adult lives) came to an abrupt end. Feelings are still fresh, and I’m still attempting to process them. One thing I don’t want is to bring bitterness into a new body or be hesitant of new connections. I’d ask if you would pray for us in this.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d ask what you’re reading. Right now, I’m knee deep in Ann Voskamp’s new book, The Broken Way, and I couldn’t love it more. I got to meet Ann at a book signing in Atlanta for my birthday and she is every bit as beautiful up close as she is on her blog and in her books.

If we were on a coffee date, I would tell you that your identity is not a brand. This is something I have to remind myself of on the daily, especially since I spend a fair amount of time on the internet. My virtual village is made up of photographers and artists and strategists and people who make money doing things that didn’t exist this time last year. And everyone is worried about marketing and branding, but I am just a girl who loves words and people and my website isn’t fancy and so sometimes it can be hard to find my place. But our identities are not brands or trends or fads or movements, and we don’t have to hustle to market or pitch our souls.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d ask if you’ve seen this study, and I’d tell you that it breaks my heart. I wanted to shake everyone I saw in Target today and say “are you really okay being the driving force behind your neighbor’s fear?” Because I’m not okay with it. But since shaking total strangers in the middle of the aisle with the laundry detergent probably isn’t the best idea, I’m choosing to write love letters instead. Because I want people to know that they are most beautiful where they’re broken and strongest where they limp. We all are, and that is how we’ll get through this.

If we were on a coffee date, I’d share this from Liz Gilbert (warning: strong language). And then I’d ask how you make the balance work best for you, because figuring it out is tough.

If we were on a coffee date, I would ask how your heart is and how I could pray for you. And I’d really try to listen. I’d leave my cell phone in my bag because the world is distracting but you are more important, and I’d want you to know that by giving you my full attention.

So tell me, friend. What would you share on our coffee date?
Tell me in the comments or link up your own blog post below. 

  • Thank you for being one of the people to reach out to me with the “I’m here” message– it was exactly what I needed and I’m so thankful for the gift you are in my life. Here in your corner, always. <3 Praying for you, sweet friend!

    • Love you dearly. Your prayers mean the world, my friend.

  • Sam

    Your thoughts on community are so spot on and thank you for leaving your phone away! It’s hard enough to really connect, let alone with a million distractions popping up in the notification bar. Have a lovely week!

  • “Our identities are not brands or trends or fads or movements and we don’t have to hustle to market or pitch our souls.” LOVE that!! I’m with you on the peppermint mocha thing! I definitely prefer mint and chocolate to pumpkin spice any day. And I’m also a girl who struggles with community. I love connecting with people so very much but am such an introvert and sometimes it’s easier to stay inside my shell than take the risk and put myself out there. I love your heart and am now following along with your blog so I can stay in touch. It’s so good to connect with new friends over coffee. <3

    • erinsalmon

      Girl, that part about identity was actually a last minute addition five minutes before the post was scheduled to go up. It has been on my mind for weeks now.

      SO much love to you. :)

  • Peppermint Mocha! A girl after my own heart. Community…”the growing can only happen in the dying.” So much Yes! I loved stopping by here for a cup of coffee. Blessings!